On the Job Search Again (still)

In all honesty, trying out a job for a half day on Saturday did not exactly take me off the job market.  LOL.

After reviewing all that went on in 5 short hours on Saturday, and after waking up every 1  - 2 hours last night agonizing over it, I reached the decision this morning that I just could not work in that office.  As I mentioned before, I see that the doctor reached the same decision.

Saturday was quite difficult. Oh, the work itself was great!  But the staff...that was another kettle of fish.

Boiling it all down without getting into all the details, the other 2 women who work there despise me.  When I worked there in the past I told the truth to the doctor during my exit interview as to why I was leaving her employ.

One reason:   The doctor hit me all the time.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  Constant slugging in the arm.  Since I'm very tiny and about 5'3" and she's a large woman, about 5'9" and a Vet (Army), she packs quite a punch and I've had some darned good bruises.  She informed me that she intends to continue to hit me because she's a "touchy feely" person. Umm.....no!  What in heaven's name made me think that I should accept this?!!!

Second reason:  Negative fellow employees.  I mean negative to the point that the second the doctor walked out the door, all I heard was how much they hated her, were only there for the money, how much they hated the patients, and, when the other wasn't present, how much they hated each other!  They shared private information with me about the doctor, etc., etc.

Well, the doctor told the staff what I said.  Most unfortunate because exit interview information is supposed to be kept confidential.  I mean, that's the whole point.  You want your exiting employee to feel safe in telling you exactly what went wrong so that if there is a problem in the company/practice, it can be corrected.

Bottom line....it turns out these women are OUT FOR ME!  The doctor had given me a key to the office Saturday morning, but by the end of the day she took it back (sign that she doubted I would work out ?  You bet!). She said that we had to work my hours around because she did not want me in the office alone with the other 2 women. (Say WHAT?!)  She said that they refused to even talk to me.  I was not allowed to go to the front office to review my charts for the next day.  I could not go to the front to get a chart for a patient who might call me on the phone, etc., etc.  They did not want to see me or speak to me and the doctor was going along with it!  She told me she was not going to cross them on this because she was afraid to lose them, and that eventually they would get over it.

I disagree.  I feel that eventually the tension would build to an ugly head, and who knows what would happen then?

This morning I told her I would not be in to spend a day of refresher training with the MA who retired 2 years ago (who has been filling in for her since she's been without an MA).  My hubby thought I should have gone in and worked the day today because I told her I would and then tell her it wasn't working out at the end of the day, but I didn't think that was the right thing to do.  The doctor would have had to pay two MAs for the job of one, I would have been receiving training that I had no intention of using, I would have gotten signed in with passwords at the various hospitals and the electronic prescription program, etc.  I felt it would have been leading the doctor on, making her believe I would accept the job.  I also feel, that since I know I can't accept a job where the doctor says flat out that she WILL hit me, and that I need to fear being alone with the other employees (can we say HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT?), it would have been the equivalent of stealing from the doctor if I had gone in today and just marked my time in "training", then quitting at the end of the day.  Bad form, I say.

Tomorrow I have my interview at the electronics place.  I hope it goes well.

I've come to a realization.

The past two jobs I've had were placed I had worked before.  I had left those places for very good reasons, yet I worried that I would not be able to find another job, so I got myself rehired.  Gee, any surprise that the same problems still existed in both places?

Wasn't it Einstein that said the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over again and expect a different result?   Hmmm....same people, same personalities, same problems = same outcome.  Both jobs caused me terrible panic attacks, low self esteem, etc.

I've also finally put my finger on the problem.  It's me of course, or rather, it's my apparent lack of faith.

I prayed for God to lead me to the perfect job that was just right for me.  Then I began to feel discouraged, old, worthless and desperate because that perfect job didn't appear exactly when I thought it should.  This resulted in me taking the reins from God and deciding to muck up the works and get involved myself by getting myself back in to work at places that were not good employers.  And I'm supposed to be surprised when the results are negative?

I felt that the electronics job was right for me from the minute I walked through their door.  They have not turned me down at all, but in fact, it's down to me and one other person.  I shall soon find out.  Can you imagine if I had stayed with the crazy doctor and had cancelled the interview with the electronics company scheduled for tomorrow?

What if that electronics company is the job God has picked out for me and I had missed out because I lacked faith and patience?

So I'm going to that interview tomorrow with bells on!  Prayers would be appreciated.

If it isn't the job God has picked out for me, I will continue sending in my resume to various companies until that "just right for me" job turns up.  In the meantime, I'm going to be patient and rest in the confidence that God is in control and knows what He is doing, and that His timing is perfect.

There's one thing I do know for sure, and that is that He does not want be to be hit or threatened on the job!

Hurray!  I don't have any more money than I did a week ago, but I think I just may be on my way to leaving Negative Nelly behind and becoming a Positive Polly!

It's time to go work on a couple of bracelets I want to list this week.

:)