Life has been placed on "pause" the past several weeks.
We received word that my mother-in-law was desperately ill, which led to my husband and I setting up rotating shifts of ten days each to go live with her during that period and provide for her 24 hour care (in her home), with hospice nurses and nursing assistants popping in an out. She passed away as I was about to board the plane to take my first shift (hubby went first and took the first - and only - shift).
Then a whirlwind of activity at her house in another state getting utility bills, credit cards and other such things handled, clothes to the Salvation Army, and of course a memorial service for her friends there. This followed by a drive home rather than a flight as we then took over the care of her dog who has come home with us to live.
No sooner did we walk in the door and my sweet golden retriever began bleed profusely. An emergency run to the vet and the diagnosis of leukemia quickly followed. I held her and patted her and told her that she was the "bestest dog ever" and how much I loved her as the vet put her down.
In a few weeks we will have the larger memorial for my mother-in-law here in our home state for family and life-long friends. We need a little time to pull it all together.
The past several weeks have been a struggle to say the least. So many emotions and so many tears. I know this is a part of life, but this part stinks. I also know that this feeling will pass and we will learn to adjust somehow to the "new normal", but right now I am walking around with a profound sense of sadness and loss.
I'm not very good company at the moment as it's taking all I've got to get through this period and to try to be a support to my husband. Just thought I would pop in and update lest anyone wonder what happened to me.
I'm not gone. Just on "pause" for now.