*Sigh*

I feel so discouraged today.

I have not heard a word from the electronics company.  They had promised to call me Wednesday or Thursday of this week.  Well, it's later in the afternoon on Thursday and still no word.  I feel that they are stringing me along and that they will make me an offer if they can't find someone better.

I've decided that I'm done taking the initiative in following through with this company.  I've done all I can do while still maintaining a shred of dignity.  My interview with them was on HALLOWEEN!  If they wanted me they would have hired me by now.  It's time for me to face facts and stop letting them blow smoke up my you-know-what.

Tomorrow I will start running position wanted ads on Craigslist.  I don't see any other option.   I don't even know if it will result in any actual interest (other than from weirdos), but I think it is worth a try in case it would get me in contact with even one decent employer.

Not a good day today.

Still Grumping

I'm still grumping in my little corner of the world, hence no recent entries.

My elbow seemed to be on the mend, but we hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year which necessitated a very thorough cleaning (darn dogs!), after which I'm now finally beating back a severe flare up.

I do believe it is on the mend, but it will be a slow go, very similar to the slow healing of my rotator cuff injury a couple years back.  It's very frustrating because I can't do any art work.  I did a very small drawing two weeks ago that set me into a two day flare up.  Sigh.  It's so frustrating to be at home and have the time to devote to projects yet be physically unable.

My knee flared up yesterday and so that's hurting me too.  I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my right knee back when I was 38 years old.  Every now and again it gives me trouble.  Back on Glucosamine/MSM to see if that can help.   I can't take NSAIDs and hate taking too much Tylenol, so I'm just putting up with it right now.  If it hurts enough to interrupt my sleep again tonight I will take the Tylenol though.  Today I'm going to give myself a good soak in epsom salts and see if that helps at all.

Let's see...have I grumbled enough yet? LOL!

It appears that I'm not out of the running on one of the jobs I interviewed for!  I spoke with the wife of the owner of the electronics firm yesterday and she told me that they really liked me, that she particularly liked me, and that they had 2 people to interview this week and would call me Wednesday or Thursday of this week.  She said the whole hiring process came to a standstill because the owner decided to go off hunting for a while and dropped the ball.

I'm hoping that this pans out and I am eventually offered the job.  I don't have any other potential employers right now.  I've sent out gobs of resumes, but I'm not being called for interviews.  I'm starting to feel a bit panicky.  If I don't hear positive news from the electronics firm this week I am thinking of running a "position wanted" ad on Craigslist (no worries - I'll be very careful!).

I supposed I'm a bit depressed right now.   Particularly since the holidays are coming up and I'm unable to purchase any gifts, make any gifts, etc., etc.

My, I do throw a good pity party, don't I?!

I wish I had a more positive entry

Tomorrow I go to turn in my keys from the wacko practice I just quit working for.  They "think" my paycheck is being automatically deposited as they have no check for me.  All I can say is there better be a check in my account tomorrow morning or we're going to have a very, very tight time of it.  It will be tight even with the check, but it will help.

Weird feedback on 2 jobs that seemed promising, the chiropractic/wellness practice and the electronics company admin job.

I had yet another interview at the wellness center this week.  This was the oddest interview I ever had.  The questions were along the lines of a Barbara Walters interview, "If you could be any type of tree, what kind would you be?".  Actually, they asked me what kind of animal I would be and why.  Then what kind of animal I would NOT want to be.  I have no idea what this kind of nonsense has to do my clinical abilities or my treatment of patients.

At both interviews, both with the electronics company and the wellness center, they actually had the audacity to bring up my age!  I was flabbergasted, as it is illegal to discriminate due to age.

At the wellness center I was quizzed at length as to how I would handle it if my supervisor turned out to be younger than me.  Really?  Who cares!  As long as they know their stuff I could not care less how old they are.  I was told repeatedly that I was "considerably older" than the other staff members.  OK.  You are worried that I'm too old for your practice and won't fit in with all the younger people (including you).  I get it.

At the electronics company I was asked point blank how old I am!  How illegal is that?!  I was told I was obviously the oldest applicant (ok, way to make me feel old and suck away my confidence), and was asked when I planned on retiring.  I told them the truth -- that I doubted if I'd ever be able to retire.

I feel disillusioned and discouraged as I was obviously the victim of agism at both places.  Part of me still holds out some hope that one of the two places will make me an offer, but then my insecure self steps up and reminds me of all the comments about my age and I feel rather hopeless.

What a "Debby Downer" I am today!

In the meantime it looks like I'll be cleaning houses 3 days a week in order to keep some money coming in.  My old boss at the hippy store hooked me up with her best friend who runs a cleaning service.  I guess she's overwhelmed right now and desperately needs the help.  I'll clean for her Monday, Wednesday and Friday next week, then Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday the following week.

I'm thankful to at least have something to keep money coming in, but it would be disingenuous of me if I didn't admit that a big part of me is disappointed that is where I've landed.  I mean, I ran my own cleaning service about 10 years ago.  It is definitely discouraging to think that I've gone through years of school, spent lots of money, time and tears getting through the studies, clinicals and then the cruddy "starter" medical jobs, just to end up scrubbing toilets again, only this time for someone else.  Makes me think I should have just kept my own cleaning business.

Meh.  I know I'll end up with a decent job eventually, I just have to keep looking.  And I need to admit to myself that I'm no cute young thing anymore.  I'm old and I apparently look it.

I need to stop writing as I'm just discouraging myself further.  Surely I'll feel better about it after a good night's sleep preceded by reading in bed, snuggled with one of the dogs with my hubby snoring beside me, and a nice mug of tusi tea.

I promise my next entry will actually be about something. LOL!

My New Job: Interviewing

I never thought this blog would take such a work-oriented rabbit trail, but I suppose it's the path I'm on for the moment.

Going back to work for an ex-employer has imploded.  I should have known better.  There was a reason I left in the first place, and I should never have simply taking their word for it that "things are SOOO much better now"!

Long story short:  I was offered X amount of hours in exchange for X amount of dollars, doing X work.  Turns out I'm not doing any medical assisting, I'm nothing but a glorified receptionist ("glorified" because I wear scrubs) *rolls eyes*.  The medical assistant, who does not have the credentials and knowledge I do (not being arrogant, just truthful), has been made my immediate supervisor.  It turns out that I am expected to stay until all the work is done (including the MA's work - I'm supposed to pick up her slack).

Now, I already am working 8-9 hours straight with NO lunch break of any kind.  Not even 15 minutes.  That lasted for 2 days.  Then I was informed that when I'm done with my 8-9 hours in the front office, I'm to go back to the MA and ask her what she needs done and stay an additional couple of hours making calls for her, refilling prescriptions for her, etc.  Hmmmm....I used to have HER job.  Nobody helped me do those things.  And I have learned that she does not take all vitals for the patients!  She's copying the data from past visits in the name of speed.  (Yes, I am informing the doctor of this.)  And this gem is my boss!

Yesterday she told me that I have to stay after my 8-9 hours until the work is done.  That this is the job description (which I was never told before hired!).  I replied that I would not be doing that.  It was made clear that I HAD to or I should look for another job.  I told her I would look for another job.

Of course they want me to continue working until they find someone else, but WHY?  I've worked a total of 6 days!  Why would I continue to be trained for a position I already know I will not be accepting?  I think they believe I'll just fall into it and never get around to looking for another job and will end up staying (and working the long hours) by default.  No. Going. To. Happen.  The last time I worked there I used to come in at 7:30 like I do now, and stay until 9PM.  No.  Not again!  I started having chest pains, panic attacks, etc., the last time due to the hours and stress.  I already started with that this week.  I was fine from the day I quit last year until the week I returned.

Conclusion:  This job is completely unhealthy for me in many ways and the staff, especially the office manager, are not grounded in reality.

On the up side, I had 2 job interviews today!  One with a chiropractor that went VERY well.  The doctor told me that I should expect her to call me for a second interview with her partner soon.  While driving on the way home from the interview, I received a cell phone call from the partner.  I pulled over and we conducted the second interview over the phone right then!  It went extremely well and I feel 100% confident that they will offer me a position within the next week or two (the time frame they said that they would be making offers).  They have several MA positions open, so I feel confident that I will receive an offer.

The second interview was with an electronics firm.  Had a great interview with the owner and his wife. We got along famously, they loved my experience and resume, and my age was actually in my favor!  They are looking for an "older" woman.  LOL!  It was the first time I was asked in an interview if I planned on retiring soon.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry over that one.  What the heck.  Laughing is healthier.....LOL!  :-)   With this job I feel 90% confident that I will be made an offer.

BOTH jobs offer FULL benefits:  401K, 100% employer paid health insurance, PTO, paid vacations and holidays.

It's time I started valuing myself more.  I am coming to the conclusion that I've had crappy jobs and been treated poorly on the job because I had a "victim" air about me.  I never spoke up for myself.  Well, I do now. The invisible "kick me" sign is off my back, and I'm going after decent jobs now.  Why would I expect employers to treat me with dignity and respect and value me if my own body language and if the things I tolerate show that I don't have any respect for myself or see my own value.

Getting philosophical in my old age.