Saturday, December 15, 2012

...and the search continues...

On Tuesday the electronics company called at 11:30 in the morning to tell me that they had to cancel my 3:00 pm second interview because the owner was called away to bid an important job. The owner's  wife went on and on about how it was vital to the company that they try to get this large job and how they hoped I understood. She promised that they would call back on Wednesday to reschedule.

Of course, true to form, Wednesday came without a word from them. Finally, I called them on Friday, just to be told by the owner, quite rudely, that I should look for another job. He said that they'd already hired someone some time ago and then said that they have another girl who has given her notice and will be leaving after the first of the year. He suggested that I call back and reapply for that job when it is advertised in January.

I think not.  These bozos have led me on a merry chase since October. I'm gladly washing my hands of them.

Tuesday I also had an interview with a dermatology office.  Wow!  It was so impressive!  More like a dermatology hospital!

The interview went well and by the next day I was hearing from my references that they had been called and that their discussions with the dermatology office went well.

Friday morning they called and told me that they had decided to go with another candidate who had more straight medical dermatology experience.  She said that too much of my experience was diverted into things such as Botox, dermal fillers and other cosmetic procedures which their medical department never did.  She said she'd keep my resume on file, blah, blah, blah.  At least she had the courtesy to call me and let me know that they selected another applicant.

By noon on Friday, I received an email from an optical clinic right down the street from me.  The doctor had reviewed my resume and emailed me asking if we could conduct a phone interview today (Saturday) at 9:00 am.  Of course I said yes, and she called right on time this morning.

She's a lovely young lady, and this is her first practice.  That makes it a bit risky because she just opened her practice in July and is still trying to build up a practice.  I don't really care though.  If I should be offered a position and the place folds, as long as I work there long enough to get unemployment until I find a new job I won't feel anxious about it.

The phone interview went well and we had a nice chat.  She's interviewing a ton of people by phone though, and isn't even going to start arranging live interviews for another week or so and will not want anyone to start until after the first of the year.

At this point I've come to the conclusion that I'm out of work until the beginning of the year as a best case scenario.

I'm a bit disappointed and don't feel much one way or the other about the optical job.  The close proximity to home would be nice though.  We'll see if anything comes of it beyond a pleasant conversation.

My hubby and I have discussed it, and if I don't have a job lined up by the beginning of the year, I'm going to go back to school for a couple of months and get a few more medical certifications to increase my employment opportunities. The courses come with externships, which means I'll be able to work as a student in a local hospital and a local lab, and there is always a possibility of getting hired directly during externship.

Am I a bit blue about all of this?  Absolutely.  I feel over-the-hill and unwanted.  I don't mean to whine, but geez!  So much rejection!

I think I'm going to just take the attitude that I'm on holiday until the first of the year when I either begin a new job or new coursework.  I'm going to work on some art and crafting projects that I've been neglecting, get my office in shape so that I can transition it from an office to more of a studio, and take this time to enjoy the holidays.  I'm going to challenge myself to do SOMETHING on my art projects each day (beginning tomorrow - it's 12 am now).

I'm going to treat this as a fun and adventurous time for myself.

I'm also going to pamper myself a bit.  I'm going to start working out again, ask my niece over to help me go through my closet once more and help me put together some snappy outfits (I think I'm dating myself by the way I dress for interviews - too matronly).

I'm going to give myself a decent mani and pedi.  And a facial.  Lots of them.

I'm going to try styling my hair in different ways.

I'll go see The Hobbit.

I'm going to go to the little Christmas Village the local garden shop puts on each year.  It's utterly charming and used to be a tradition each year when my son was small.  I doubt he'll go with me (I'll ask, but I think it's a bit much to ask at his age, LOL).  I'll go myself, take some pictures, and drink in the holiday "magic".

I'm going to reattach the fairy door to the side of my favorite tree.  Somehow it came lose this autumn and is laying forlorn beside the tree.  I'll go out and reattach it and glue some ultra fine silver glitter to the base and to the trunk of the tree.  Then when we get some snow I'll go out and sprinkle a bit of ultra fine glitter at the base of each tree, splash a bit on the trunks, and shake some on the snow on the front walk.

I did this last year and it looked absolutely amazing!  It was quite subtle actually, but at different times during the day the sun would hit a spot of glitter and it would just shine like a star for a short while!  Always brought a smile to my face.  Even in the spring the bits of sparkle dust were well embedded into the cement on the sidewalk, and in the bright sunlight and during a full moon there was a dreamy, subtle shimmer to the walk.


Since I know I'm going to be off work for a while, I'm going to savor this time rather than spend it fretting.  I will miss these days off work once I'm back putting in 40 hours or more a week or am back hitting the books and doing clinicals.  I don't want to look back and regret that I didn't enjoy my time off.

Oh, I'll definitely continue applying for every job that opens, but I'm going to apply and then forget about it.  Fretting over each phone call or interview isn't going to get me anywhere.

Time for me to put on my big girl panties (is it okay if they have sequins?) and start loving and living each day for what it brings and trust God with my future!

It's off to bed with me now.  I'm going to snuggle under my blankets with my snoring sweetheart and read a romantic novel with my little book light so I don't wake him.  Church in the morning, then I'll begin work on a project of some kind.  I have many ideas, particularly a BIG idea for an art project that is way beyond my abilities and reach I think, but what the heck!  Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Time to stop pouting and start LIVING in capital letters!

Monday, December 10, 2012

On the Job Search Again (still)

In all honesty, trying out a job for a half day on Saturday did not exactly take me off the job market.  LOL.

After reviewing all that went on in 5 short hours on Saturday, and after waking up every 1  - 2 hours last night agonizing over it, I reached the decision this morning that I just could not work in that office.  As I mentioned before, I see that the doctor reached the same decision.

Saturday was quite difficult. Oh, the work itself was great!  But the staff...that was another kettle of fish.

Boiling it all down without getting into all the details, the other 2 women who work there despise me.  When I worked there in the past I told the truth to the doctor during my exit interview as to why I was leaving her employ.

One reason:   The doctor hit me all the time.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  Constant slugging in the arm.  Since I'm very tiny and about 5'3" and she's a large woman, about 5'9" and a Vet (Army), she packs quite a punch and I've had some darned good bruises.  She informed me that she intends to continue to hit me because she's a "touchy feely" person.!  What in heaven's name made me think that I should accept this?!!!

Second reason:  Negative fellow employees.  I mean negative to the point that the second the doctor walked out the door, all I heard was how much they hated her, were only there for the money, how much they hated the patients, and, when the other wasn't present, how much they hated each other!  They shared private information with me about the doctor, etc., etc.

Well, the doctor told the staff what I said.  Most unfortunate because exit interview information is supposed to be kept confidential.  I mean, that's the whole point.  You want your exiting employee to feel safe in telling you exactly what went wrong so that if there is a problem in the company/practice, it can be corrected.

Bottom turns out these women are OUT FOR ME!  The doctor had given me a key to the office Saturday morning, but by the end of the day she took it back (sign that she doubted I would work out ?  You bet!). She said that we had to work my hours around because she did not want me in the office alone with the other 2 women. (Say WHAT?!)  She said that they refused to even talk to me.  I was not allowed to go to the front office to review my charts for the next day.  I could not go to the front to get a chart for a patient who might call me on the phone, etc., etc.  They did not want to see me or speak to me and the doctor was going along with it!  She told me she was not going to cross them on this because she was afraid to lose them, and that eventually they would get over it.

I disagree.  I feel that eventually the tension would build to an ugly head, and who knows what would happen then?

This morning I told her I would not be in to spend a day of refresher training with the MA who retired 2 years ago (who has been filling in for her since she's been without an MA).  My hubby thought I should have gone in and worked the day today because I told her I would and then tell her it wasn't working out at the end of the day, but I didn't think that was the right thing to do.  The doctor would have had to pay two MAs for the job of one, I would have been receiving training that I had no intention of using, I would have gotten signed in with passwords at the various hospitals and the electronic prescription program, etc.  I felt it would have been leading the doctor on, making her believe I would accept the job.  I also feel, that since I know I can't accept a job where the doctor says flat out that she WILL hit me, and that I need to fear being alone with the other employees (can we say HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT?), it would have been the equivalent of stealing from the doctor if I had gone in today and just marked my time in "training", then quitting at the end of the day.  Bad form, I say.

Tomorrow I have my interview at the electronics place.  I hope it goes well.

I've come to a realization.

The past two jobs I've had were placed I had worked before.  I had left those places for very good reasons, yet I worried that I would not be able to find another job, so I got myself rehired.  Gee, any surprise that the same problems still existed in both places?

Wasn't it Einstein that said the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over again and expect a different result?   Hmmm....same people, same personalities, same problems = same outcome.  Both jobs caused me terrible panic attacks, low self esteem, etc.

I've also finally put my finger on the problem.  It's me of course, or rather, it's my apparent lack of faith.

I prayed for God to lead me to the perfect job that was just right for me.  Then I began to feel discouraged, old, worthless and desperate because that perfect job didn't appear exactly when I thought it should.  This resulted in me taking the reins from God and deciding to muck up the works and get involved myself by getting myself back in to work at places that were not good employers.  And I'm supposed to be surprised when the results are negative?

I felt that the electronics job was right for me from the minute I walked through their door.  They have not turned me down at all, but in fact, it's down to me and one other person.  I shall soon find out.  Can you imagine if I had stayed with the crazy doctor and had cancelled the interview with the electronics company scheduled for tomorrow?

What if that electronics company is the job God has picked out for me and I had missed out because I lacked faith and patience?

So I'm going to that interview tomorrow with bells on!  Prayers would be appreciated.

If it isn't the job God has picked out for me, I will continue sending in my resume to various companies until that "just right for me" job turns up.  In the meantime, I'm going to be patient and rest in the confidence that God is in control and knows what He is doing, and that His timing is perfect.

There's one thing I do know for sure, and that is that He does not want be to be hit or threatened on the job!

Hurray!  I don't have any more money than I did a week ago, but I think I just may be on my way to leaving Negative Nelly behind and becoming a Positive Polly!

It's time to go work on a couple of bracelets I want to list this week.


Friday, December 7, 2012

To be a Housewife

Hubby and I had a "discussion with volume".  I will be starting the job with the old doctor tomorrow.  If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.  I did say I would take the job, so I should show some character and show up with the intention of giving it my all.  If they mistreat me, I will give my notice.

I am going to try to reschedule the interview with the electronics company for earlier in the day Tuesday (I start later on Tuesdays with the doctor, so that could work out.  I don't feel very positive about that position, because he's been stringing me along since HALLOWEEN!  He has made many promises about potential start dates, about times he would call me back, etc., and he has never, ever lived up to one of his promises.  Doesn't speak well of his character and I imagine he would be the same if I worked for him.  I've rather lost enthusiasm (and trust) regarding that job.

So I'm going to work for the person I call "Dr. Crazy", and I'm going to take it a day at a time.  Each day I'll just focus on getting through that day.  At the very least it will give us some Christmas money just in the nick of time, and if I can stick it out longer, it will help us to get back on our feet.  We owe my parents money, and if I can work there long enough to get that paid back plus put a one month's bills aside in case of emergency, then I'll have done well.  That's IF they aren't too abusive.

Hubby and I had quite a discussion today, and he finally told me to "just be a housewife and do NOTHING"!  Well, as you can imagine, I gave him an earful about how being a housewife does not mean doing nothing!  I asked him to think about who it is that has dinner on the table for him each night when he walks through the door, who cleans the house, takes care of the grocery shopping, banking, bill paying, washes his clothes, and even does the home maintenance as of late, and he hastily admitted that a housewife does not do "nothing".

He DID give me the green light to be a housewife if I want to though, which has been my greatest desire since I was little girl.  I wanted to be just like my mom, only even more.

If I were a "housewife", I would keep my home immaculately clean, have time to landscape (getting him to even cut the grass is like pulling teeth!), and I would pursue art and crafty things with a gusto!  I used to sell all sorts of handcrafted items in craft shows and it can be quite lucrative.  I'd like to get started with that again, rejoin the local art society and get back into the shows, and really get moving on my Etsy store.  I have several items that I'm working on for it right now and recently sold another bracelet.  Not exactly a rousing response, but still, I'm pleased.

If I were a "housewife", I would also likely pick up part time jobs now and again.  I would continue the housecleaning job I have for an elderly couple (I've done it for YEARS).  I would probably pick up part time retail or even part time clerical jobs or temp jobs here and there to fund special projects for the house, or toward purchasing a new appliance (right now our dishwasher, microwave and refrigerator are broken down).  Maybe to earn extra money to cover Christmas and birthday gifts, to help with bills, or may even toward a vacation some time in the future.

It's my dearest wish to be a housewife / creative hippy woman.

I'm glad that my husband brought it up today and gave his "permission" for me to do so.  Now, he wasn't exactly being pleasant about it, but he repeated it again and again.  Tonight, now that cooler heads prevail and we've made up, etc., I'm going to talk to him about it again.  I will tell him that being a housewife/craftswoman is my ultimate goal and that I will be working toward that goal.

Here's the plan I've come up with to get there:

1)  Work for Dr. Crazy right now for as long as I can, be it a day, a month or a year.  During this time I will do art/craft projects as time and energy allow.  Obviously not much can get done, but if I can complete and put 1 - 2 items up for sale in my Etsy shop per month it will be something to get me going, and it will probably help me therapeutically.

2)  After I can no longer work for Dr. Crazy, I will transition to a part time job and focus even more time into building my artsy/craftsy self, add craft shows and art shows onto doing the Etsy shop.

3)  When I feel it's time, I will then quit my part time job and focus full time on my artsy/craftsy life.  (I will still clean the one house, and will go to the plan of picking up seasonal retail jobs, temp jobs, etc.).

I think this is reasonable, provided I can build momentum in the artsy/craftsy world.  I like what I'm doing with old books right now, and I have tons of other ideas using old books that I can't wait to have the time to work on.  Some are much larger scale projects, but I'm quite excited at the prospects.

It is worrisome to me that I may be being selfish in my plan/desires.  But here's the some point in my life, I think I need to be the person that I really am inside.  I think it will be healthy for me, and healthy for my marriage (happy wives eventually create happy husbands ;)

What do you think?  Am I being selfish?

By my calculations, I will be at least 55 or 56 at the earliest (for the housewife transition).  Unless this job turns out to be wretched and I move to the part time phase sooner than expected, or it the Etsy sales improve faster than I anticipate.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

A Sort-Of Job Offer

The other day I noticed that a doctor I used to work for had a want ad in the paper for a medical assistant.

Now, the job was definitely flawed.  The two clerical workers up front were grumpy ladies, over 60, who hate their jobs but are just putting in their time until retirement.  Long hours, doctor a little nutty.  But I loved the patients, I loved the medical end of it and felt very confident about what I was doing clinically.  And the pay was great.

Sooo....since employers are not exactly beating down the doors to hire me, I contacted the doctor and told her I saw the ad and suggested myself for the position.  Today she took me to lunch and we discussed it.  We decided that I would come back and that I'd start this Saturday.

There was an office meeting today and she suggested I attend.  It was scheduled for late afternoon/early evening, so I went home after lunch, planning on being at the office at 4:30.  At 4:10 the doctor texted me, telling me NOT to come, that the two clerical workers were rebelling against the idea of me returning to the office and "didn't want to see my face".


I'm still scheduled to start work on Saturday, but I'm having many mixed feelings.

We desperately need the money.  We need it very, very badly.  If I could manage to stay there for at least a year it would really help out my resume.  And the money is desperately needed.  Oh, and did I mention how very badly we need the money?

But on the other hand, I dread the idea of once again being in an abusive work environment.

Doesn't everyone deserve more than that?  All I want is to be able to go to work and be treated like a professional.  I don't want to be screamed at because some coworker is having a bad day.  I don't want to be hit (slugged in the arm and shoulder) all day because someone is "a touchy-feely kind of person and just can't help it".

The hours are kinda rough; alternating back and forth between a 5 day and 6 day week every other week.  8-10 hours a day.

But the pay is high, and did I mention that we really need the money?

Not sure exactly what to do.  I've got a text into the doctor to find out if she thinks the situation with the other women will ever be rectified.  I suppose whether I go back to work there will depend upon her answer.

And on top of it all, I have an overwhelming feeling of anxiety.  I wish I could stay home and be a housewife.  I don't do stress very well anymore.  I think I need to live a gentler existence to feel my healthiest possible.

Too many decisions to make.  I'm not sure I want to/should jump back into that job again.  Except for the darn money!

To be continued...