Friday, December 7, 2012

To be a Housewife

Hubby and I had a "discussion with volume".  I will be starting the job with the old doctor tomorrow.  If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.  I did say I would take the job, so I should show some character and show up with the intention of giving it my all.  If they mistreat me, I will give my notice.

I am going to try to reschedule the interview with the electronics company for earlier in the day Tuesday (I start later on Tuesdays with the doctor, so that could work out.  I don't feel very positive about that position, because he's been stringing me along since HALLOWEEN!  He has made many promises about potential start dates, about times he would call me back, etc., and he has never, ever lived up to one of his promises.  Doesn't speak well of his character and I imagine he would be the same if I worked for him.  I've rather lost enthusiasm (and trust) regarding that job.

So I'm going to work for the person I call "Dr. Crazy", and I'm going to take it a day at a time.  Each day I'll just focus on getting through that day.  At the very least it will give us some Christmas money just in the nick of time, and if I can stick it out longer, it will help us to get back on our feet.  We owe my parents money, and if I can work there long enough to get that paid back plus put a one month's bills aside in case of emergency, then I'll have done well.  That's IF they aren't too abusive.

Hubby and I had quite a discussion today, and he finally told me to "just be a housewife and do NOTHING"!  Well, as you can imagine, I gave him an earful about how being a housewife does not mean doing nothing!  I asked him to think about who it is that has dinner on the table for him each night when he walks through the door, who cleans the house, takes care of the grocery shopping, banking, bill paying, washes his clothes, and even does the home maintenance as of late, and he hastily admitted that a housewife does not do "nothing".

He DID give me the green light to be a housewife if I want to though, which has been my greatest desire since I was little girl.  I wanted to be just like my mom, only even more.

If I were a "housewife", I would keep my home immaculately clean, have time to landscape (getting him to even cut the grass is like pulling teeth!), and I would pursue art and crafty things with a gusto!  I used to sell all sorts of handcrafted items in craft shows and it can be quite lucrative.  I'd like to get started with that again, rejoin the local art society and get back into the shows, and really get moving on my Etsy store.  I have several items that I'm working on for it right now and recently sold another bracelet.  Not exactly a rousing response, but still, I'm pleased.

If I were a "housewife", I would also likely pick up part time jobs now and again.  I would continue the housecleaning job I have for an elderly couple (I've done it for YEARS).  I would probably pick up part time retail or even part time clerical jobs or temp jobs here and there to fund special projects for the house, or toward purchasing a new appliance (right now our dishwasher, microwave and refrigerator are broken down).  Maybe to earn extra money to cover Christmas and birthday gifts, to help with bills, or may even toward a vacation some time in the future.

It's my dearest wish to be a housewife / creative hippy woman.

I'm glad that my husband brought it up today and gave his "permission" for me to do so.  Now, he wasn't exactly being pleasant about it, but he repeated it again and again.  Tonight, now that cooler heads prevail and we've made up, etc., I'm going to talk to him about it again.  I will tell him that being a housewife/craftswoman is my ultimate goal and that I will be working toward that goal.

Here's the plan I've come up with to get there:

1)  Work for Dr. Crazy right now for as long as I can, be it a day, a month or a year.  During this time I will do art/craft projects as time and energy allow.  Obviously not much can get done, but if I can complete and put 1 - 2 items up for sale in my Etsy shop per month it will be something to get me going, and it will probably help me therapeutically.

2)  After I can no longer work for Dr. Crazy, I will transition to a part time job and focus even more time into building my artsy/craftsy self, add craft shows and art shows onto doing the Etsy shop.

3)  When I feel it's time, I will then quit my part time job and focus full time on my artsy/craftsy life.  (I will still clean the one house, and will go to the plan of picking up seasonal retail jobs, temp jobs, etc.).

I think this is reasonable, provided I can build momentum in the artsy/craftsy world.  I like what I'm doing with old books right now, and I have tons of other ideas using old books that I can't wait to have the time to work on.  Some are much larger scale projects, but I'm quite excited at the prospects.

It is worrisome to me that I may be being selfish in my plan/desires.  But here's the some point in my life, I think I need to be the person that I really am inside.  I think it will be healthy for me, and healthy for my marriage (happy wives eventually create happy husbands ;)

What do you think?  Am I being selfish?

By my calculations, I will be at least 55 or 56 at the earliest (for the housewife transition).  Unless this job turns out to be wretched and I move to the part time phase sooner than expected, or it the Etsy sales improve faster than I anticipate.



  1. Personally, I applaud your goals. I've always wanted that exact same thing. Also since a little girl. My mom always worked and our house was always a mess and there was often little food in the house. I always wanted it to be different. My house was always isn't to my satisfaction now. I have to rely on Michael so much now with this fibro. I feel useless and his standards are not my own.

    I was reading an online article about the huge surge in Etsy sales this year. I do have a store over there but there is not one thing in it. I do not find the time to give it anything as it takes all my time to do anything and I just don't have it around work.

    I have to admit that I like the greater freedom money brings us and my job isn't all that difficult for me. That said, I'd so love to just stay home and I have a husband who would not care at all if I did. I'm just not sure we could make it either. I mean I think we could but I'm not positive.

    I wish you success and luck with your goals, my friend. I spend tons of time just looking at all the unique and creative ideas people have come up with on Etsy. I just wish I had more creativity myself. When I did have a few things in my Etsy shop, I never made even one sale so you are already ahead of the game!!

  2. Oh my! You are SOOO creative! I think your weaving would sell like hotcakes! That is just not something that can be seen and easily reproduced by others. It's quite a skill, not to mention your artwork. Maybe if you started with hand painted greeting cards? Of course, smaller pieces don't necessarily mean less time or work go into them.

    I think time is the factor. I several friends with hugely successful Etsy stores. Two of them have "retired" in their 30s and are full time artists. Another is in her late 20s. She has a problem with insomnia so she works on her items for Etsy when she can't sleep (which is frequent), then works full time as an editor! I don't know how she does it -- youth I guess! Her Etsy store is becoming so profitable that she is working a plan to eventually transition out of the office and to full time artisan status.

    It will take time.

    We had a half day of patients today (Saturday), and it was first day back. The doctor was receptive, but my coworkers are "frosty" to say the least. Worse, they are treating the doctor poorly as well. I noticed that the doctor seemed a bit concerned about this.

    I enjoyed working with the patients (I truly enjoy working dermatology - everything from zits to skin cancer surgery), but we had an easy day today with several "no shows". It's a grueling schedule next week.

    I think the doctor may be rethinking her decision to rehire me though. I can tell that she's very concerned about the other staff members. I think she fears they will give her an ultimatum - "them or me". She would pick them as they've been their for over a decade each.

    Ak! I ramble. That's what happens with midnight posts. LOL! Enjoy your weekend my friend.