Monday, October 29, 2012

Work Woes

I feel like I'm one big complaint factory these days!

Last night and this morning I had such a high level of anxiety over going to the new/old job that I ended up calling in this morning.  I was unable to sleep, was hyperventilating, etc.  I just couldn't go in.

I'm glad I didn't!  When I spoke with the office manager to let her know I wasn't feeling well (which I obviously was not!), she started whining and literally crying about her personal life.  I just can NOT work in that environment!  She and the doctor obviously have some kind of understanding because he knows of her behavior and does nothing, even though he's received complaints from both employees and patients.  I just can't deal with being in such a mentally unhealthy environment all day.  I'm too sensitive for it.

Gee.  That makes me sound like some kind of fragile weakling!  I think it's simply that we each have our own unique emotional make up and I'm super sensitive to the feelings of others who are around me.  I'm sure that's what helps me empathize so well with patients, and also what makes it so hard for to remain detached and not worry so about the patient's!

I've come to a decision.  I think I need to remove myself from the Western medical field.  It just isn't "me".  Thanks to a good education the knowledge base is there, but the necessary emotional make up just isn't.

I have an interview on Wednesday for a chiropractic assistant.  I wouldn't mind that at all since it is considered natural and holistic medicine.  The only thing the doctor would have me do that is potentially unsafe is take x-rays, but as long as I'm wearing a dosimeter and the machine is properly serviced and we make sure patients haven't had too much radiation exposure in the current year, I've no problems with it.

Otherwise, I'm now restricting my job search to non-medical positions.  I also have an interview this week for an electronic company that produces and monitors security systems.  I think I'd enjoy that. :)

In the meantime, I spoke with the owner of the little health food hippy store I had worked at, and she will be calling me either tonight or tomorrow to let me know if she is able to work me back into the schedule.  She did replace me, but with the holidays coming, and with me needing no training, she thinks she may be able to use me.

To be honest, if I were good enough at writing and art I would love to work in the hippy store part time and spend the rest of my time working on my artsy/crafty things.  I don't know if we can afford for me to do that though, but at least I need a job that doesn't set me off into panic attacks just thinking about going into the office.

I've decided that it's time for me to stop trying to fit the square peg that I am into a round hole.

And I'm still not a doormat. ;-)


  1. It is funny you said that I sound like you; I was thinking that you sound like me with this post. LOL I think I'm a square peg too. Do you know that I was told last week that I couldn't come in early any longer? I came in early because I wanted to, not because I was asked to do so. I give 110% of myself for everything. Something about being non-exempt salary and the potential of my suing the company. I felt like I was 5 years old instead of 53. Sigh...

    Ah well...Your wish is my own. I wish I could give myself to the art and creations I never have time or energy to do. Except I couldn't sell my stuff, not good enough.

    Good for you for making this choice and for being able to call your old boss. Such a great thing that you haven't burned those bridges. Good luck with your interview tomorrow! That sounds like a great working environment! I saw a chiropractor for a short while years ago after a car accident. The only x-ray(s) he ever took were when I first started going so he could see what/if the problems were with me. Hopefully, this doc does likewise so the x-rays wouldn't be used overmuch. Sounds like a nice environment to work in too. Patients hopefully not as critical too. Sending up prayers for you!

  2. P. S. When I say "critical," I mean that their health isn't in as critical a state as those that see regular docs. At least I hope not.

  3. Thanks for the prayers and the qualification of "critical". :0)

    Work was a zoo today. The office manager is off for a while. She's had a mental breakdown, the poor thing. :( I hate to say it, but the office was so much more peaceful without all the added drama. Still, I found out today that she wasn't completely honest with me about my hours, job description, etc., and the reality is unsatisfactory. I will be moving on asap.

    "Unsatisfactory". Interesting word. :)

  4. Yikes! I am harboring some slightly evil thoughts in thinking maybe you'd be asked to take over that position! Wouldn't it be cool to whip that office into shape?

  5. I had that thought for about 2 seconds! LOL! Her position includes doing all the insurance thanks! And I've been an office manager in several offices in the past. I could make a lot more money in the corporate world than I would in his office. Plus he offers NO sick days, no paid vacation, no insurance, etc. I could do better I think.